You don’t know me…

I am 26 and have 2 children a boy aged 7 and a girl aged 6 months, I worked full time for Home-Start until I went on maternity leave. My partner has been in the army for 9 years. This is my very honest personal opinion on what happens in our family unit…

When people ask me what my partner does I tell them he’s a soldier, the response I get is ‘Oh god’ ‘How do you do it? I couldn’t’ and everytime I think why do you all say that? It really annoys me?
When i think about it what I really want to say is I don’t know how I do it, I just do and we all know why that is, its because when you fall in love its with the person and not the profession so I’do it’ because I LOVE HIM TO THE END OF THE EARTH AND BACK!

The truth of the matter is yes my partner is serving in the Army, but myself and my family do too in a way. I sit at home and wait for decisions the Army makes, we have lots time spent apart and lots of uncertanty… We do all this together. The one thing we dont do is live together all the time…
We are unaccompanied! Yes, you heard right, unaccompanied! I dont like being away from him, I’d move around but he doesnt want us too… So every Friday we say hello and every Sunday we say goodbye… This is of course when he’s not on excercise, on tour or working.

The problem I have with this, on top of not seeing him as often as we could, is that our family is forgotton, we do not get to attend groups, meet with other wives, go to mess do’s or recieve information ect. Its very frustraiting at times but you learn to live with it.

I have had to pick up on the abreviations, squaddie talk and ways of life but without the support of the other wives and without having the welfare bloke answering my questions (not very well lol) if I hadn’t of listened if I hadn’t of payed attention I would still have no clue! When I have needed an ear, when I have wanted to rant and when i have needed advice on the matters of the Army I have always been able to turn to the Squaddie Wags main website and think THANK GOD for you ladies!

I have many many more years of being an Army wife and I’m sure I will have many many more questions that need answering but for now the only statement I have for you is this,

My name is Christine and I’m in love, you dont know me but I’m part of an Army family so take note, we count too and so do others in our situation so please don’t forget about us because we are serving in our own way too. xx


  1. Maria says:

    What you have said is sooooo true. You can’t choose who you fall in love with. I have recently met an amazing man who is also in the army. We met at the end of July and spent the whole of the summer together. He then went on tour in September to Afghanistan and has just come home on R and R. It was a magical 10 days and now he’s gone again. Only 7 weeks until he’s back, but when I say back, it’s back to Germany, where he’s based. I live in the UK. How do I cope? What will happen when he’s back? Only time will tell. All I know is that I love him with all my heart. People just don’t understand, unless they’re in the same situation. I feel so alone……..

    • christie says:

      Don’t feel alone hun just use this site to help you get through all the difficult times, any questions, any rants or any upsets just speak out :) its how we all cope and get on. it’s hard to describe to others how we do it because like in most situations unless you have gone through it yourself you can never truly understand. xx

  2. Faye says:

    Christine, everything you have just written is probably what everyone of these ladies on this website feels. Whilst i was reading it i had shivers down my spine, im currrently engaged to my fiance whos is in the army, has been for 9 years and based in Bicester, I live in Bournemouth. Granted we are both very lucky that we see eachother on weekends at present, however it is possible he is going on tour in April to Canda.
    Its hard to imagine what life will be like without him for that many months….

    • christie says:

      snap! my partner is off to Canada this April until November. spending long periods of time apart gets easier, then harder in the middle, then easier again towards the end. The lead up is hardest in my opinion.
      we all have something in common on this website so you are correct in saying they would all feel this way, what is different in some respects is the unaccompanied purely for interaction with the other wives and support in certain issues from the army which we don’t get so easily. x

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